Living in the mind vs. reality

An impactful question that a former counselor posed to me was, “Are you living life or experiencing life?”

I pondered that briefly but knew what she meant.

I had been living in my past – reflecting on mistakes, trying to figure out what I should be learning and applying – and living in my future – worried about the next outcomes, how I can be better next time.

I spent so much of my days living everywhere but the present moment.

I worked on mindfulness, presence, and other grounding techniques to keep me in the moments of life – to allow me to listen, to feel, to remember life as it comes.

It’s a constant struggle, and one I am currently dealing with again.

I have spent more time living in my mind than in real life.

I have worked to understand where I get stuck in my past (shame, frustration, regret) and my future (anxiety, doubt) – but it’s hard to escape it.

It’s always difficult. Life is not easy, but it is simple.

We know what we can do to help ourselves.

Pulling your feet out of the quicksand is harder to do the longer you stand in the past or the future.

Is it healthy to reflect sometimes? Yes.

Is it healthy to prepare sometimes? Yes.

But living every moment in these places has left me feeling like all I’m doing is reacting and preparing – not experiencing. Not living, even.

Your senses are engaged, but your mind is elsewhere; how must they feel being ignored?

In every period where I find myself struggling, I can tie it back to where I am placing my mind.

If my mind is being placed in a place of presence, support, and openness, I am able to move forward.

If my mind is placed in a place of shame, anxiety, uncertainty, and confusion, I am not only unable to move, but I am nowhere at all.

I am not living if my mind is not present.

This week, I will work to navigate that amongst moments – to notice, to feel, and to listen.

I am focused on the power of stillness – a quiet life – to be able to listen, to feel, to smell, to taste… allowing my senses to exist and feel life again.

Amidst the pain, confusion, frustration, and uncertainty of life, I want to at least try to experience life again.

And experiencing life is to walk alongside life.

Stride for stride. Connected with each moment as I walk through.

My head straight – my eyes and ears open – my mind silent.

NS

“I believe a few words can change your day and your life.”

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12