Denial.

I am amazed by many things in life.

I would consider myself an emotional reflecter.

A thoughtful creature destined for amazement by life.

But it usually comes after the moment.

At each specific present moment of life, I may not feel a specific emotion.

However, once I receive processing or reflecting time, I find emotions that never cease to amaze me.

I feel, see, and hear things that bring understanding and peace to life…

However, I feel that I am in denial lately.

I feel that I am in denial that these things matter.

I look at things that move me, things that make me feel motivated, things that make me joyful…

Nothing.

I have never been much of a man of action despite having actions planned in my head to do and actions I see would be helpful for my growth…

Nothing.

What will make me change this?

I don’t want to become a hermit of action and drown in my thoughts.

Well, I tend to drown in my thoughts often in solitude.

I don’t ever feel alone and I know I am never alone, but when your own thoughts cave in and it’s just you thinking them, it can be a lonely feeling.

The action of sharing and communicating means a lot though.

Something I always try to do.

However, they are still words.

What ACTIONS will I finally implement?

I think it is more about an attitude of discipline and habit than anything else.

I want to engrain in my mind these reminders so they don’t have to be unnatural.

I shouldn’t have to go out of my way to grow and learn.

I want to create a mind that always moves to grow.

Not one that thinks to grind.

I think enough and I know I always will.

I just need to try.

I don’t need to act upon everything, but I just need to try.

Just try.

Just do something to create a habit of discipline.

I am even confident that once I just try, I can create a new action that helps me.

I do believe in myself on this front.

Just gotta try.

NS

“I believe a few words can change your day and your life.”