Sitting with the horizon.

Many times, when I sit in thought, it is amidst a place of reflection.

A few days ago, I was revisiting my short and long-term goals.

I spent time diving into why I have these goals (my motivation), when I want to achieve these goals (a timeline), and what it will take to get there (next steps).

It was more time than I have spent in a long time sitting amidst a place on the horizon rather than what’s behind me.

I found that as I sat in this place, I recognized that taking these next steps, maintaining discipline, and ultimately reaching my goals, is up to me.

I have support around me – to lean on, to learn from, to cheer me on – but it is not their job to get me there.

I am seeking to find peace in being alone with my future.

I have found peace in the present when alone.

I have spent much time alone in my life in the past.

But the times I feel anxiety creep in are in the idea that I won’t be able to do it alone.

Which is silly, because of course I can’t.

However, I think it is a lack of self-belief that I am enough right now to get there.

I am trying to find peace in ME.

Sitting alone with thoughts of doubt is hard. You have dreams, you have a plan, but you see the mountain as not the obstacles themselves – the mountain I have to climb is believing.

I know, but do I believe?

I live, but do I experience?

To be, but am I?

Thankfully, there are 3 qualities within myself that I do believe in as I enter the horizon:

1. I am not a quitter. Times get tough mentally, physically, and emotionally, but I have never stopped moving. I have always found a way to trudge along, so I know that will remain true. I will make it and keep going.
2. I am intentional. I don’t do things for no reason. We all have mindless moments, but when it comes to my goals, seeking my horizon, these things are as mindful as can be. My intentions are always pure at heart, and whether I can express those properly or not, I know I try my best each day and want to make people feel seen, heard, and loved.
3. I am here. All trials have left a bruise, but they heal with the tools that you take from the trials. I am equipped for the next steps on the horizon.

So, I am “living and learning” when it comes to sitting with what lies ahead – fighting battles, finding peace, taking presence in times of solitude, and trying to believe.

Trying.

Find peace in being alone.

NS

“I believe a few words can change your day and your life.”