Most of the time when I am writing, I am writing to get things off of my chest, dealing with depression, stress, anxiety, or other negative feelings.
Tonight, I am writing with a light heart and a smile.
As I sit here and think about my life right now, it is incredibly far from perfect.
There are many things I wish I could be doing better, improving on, working on, focusing on, etc.
But at this moment, I am satisfied.
I don’t want it to be temporary, so how can I make it last?
I know that it can’t be all smiles and rainbows all the time.
I need to prepare and figure things out.
As I focus on this current feeling, I realize the two areas of focus I can have:
- I can focus on why I will become unhappy and anticipate the sadness/pain to come.
- I can focus on why I am happy now and figure out how to keep it going.
Many times, I get stuck in focus #1.
I think of how many times before I am riding a wave, which eventually crashes down and I am in a sorrowful state.
I know it is inevitable, so I think “enjoy it while it lasts because the valley will come soon.”
It’s time to shift my focus.
I talk a lot about how I am planning for my future and trying to follow the path that God has laid out for me.
I know that is part of my focus.
But when you are looking towards the future through a lens of negative anticipation, it clouds your vision.
I want my vision to be completely clear as I march toward my goals and my future.
Each step I take should be with a clear mind, clear vision, and a soft heart.
No distractions. No mental roadblocks.
Keeping myself rooted in my goal and following my path is the key.
I can compare this to how anxiety began to affect me on the golf course.
I began struggling to hit tee shots with accuracy.
Once these struggles began with my swing, I began to lose trust in myself.
I would stand on the tee and look out at the hole to see my goal: the fairway.
I want to hit my golf ball from this spot to the fairway.
I knew this was the goal and that’s what my focus should be.
However, my vision was clouded with negative thoughts that had nothing to do with my goal.
I would begin to think about how inconsistent I am hitting my driver, how there are trees and water there to punish me, and how hard it is to reach my goal.
I let these thoughts get in my way for a long time, slowly losing trust and gaining fear.
After a lot of practice and learning, I saw how even though I knew what my goal was, I wasn’t going to reach it with my clouded vision and mind.
I wasn’t holding the right focus.
In order to reach my goal of hitting the fairway, I needed to focus on what it takes to get there and that being my end goal.
It takes a good swing, a gentle mind, and for my ball to follow a path in the air to land in the fairway.
Similarly to my goals in life, I know what it takes to get there and where I want to be, but my focus is off.
I am too busy focusing on the hardships along the way, my clouded mind being unready to face challenges, and just worrying about stress that each step may bring.
It’s time to learn from my golf experiences and from my previous life experiences and shift my focus.
If I want to do something, I need to keep my eyes on my plan that I make and what the end is.
Everything outside of that is irrelevant.
It’s time to focus on what is important.
I pray that I can stay locked in on my goals and that I take everything on with God in control.
I pray that I can continue to keep a soft heart, a clear mind, and clear vision as I move forward.
I pray that I can continue to smile and enjoy the good times.
I pray that I continue to be thankful, continuously growing and learning.
I pray that I continue to lead and be a light.
Let’s stay focused and move forward. Amen.