My future.

The first semester of my junior year of college came to a close yesterday.

Only a few more to go.

As I look upon this semester, I can say that calling it a rollercoaster is an understatement.

I went through more emotional turmoil than I’ve ever been in.

Family issues, relationship issues, mental issues, internal fights, external fights, the whole nine yards.

Some of it was on me, and some of it was out of my control. It combined to be a lot.

But, I made it through the semester and its trials with a few positives, which is what I want to focus on:

• I finished the semester on the Dean’s List (3.5 GPA or higher) for the 5th consecutive semester
• I had my best tournament round of my college golf career thus far
• I was elected into a high position of responsibility within my fraternity
• I found new music and new books that fed my soul throughout the semester
• I made it to 20 years old!

Reflecting on the amount of time that I spent this semester depressed, anxious, stressed, and lonely reminded me of how God continually challenges me but not to the point of my destruction.

At times, I feel like I have destroyed everything.

But I wake up every day with choices to make that can fix whatever the problem is.

Now that this semester is over, I can say that although there are many things in my life that need to be worked on/fixed, I am in a place where I have opportunities in front of myself that are there for the taking.

There’s always an opportunity to get better and I want to take every single one I get.

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When I look at my near future, I have a few questions:

• What kind of career do I want?
• Will I get a job that I will like?
• Do I feel like I can follow my dreams?
• If I do decide to take on my dreams, how will that alter my plans?
• Will I find that special someone (and not screw it up)?
• What will my life look like?

 

When I first typed out these questions, I had them labeled as “worries”.

All of these questions will eventually have an answer, it’s just a matter of time.

I shouldn’t worry about the answer to the question or when it will happen.

I know that when it happens, it is what it is.

Whatever the timing may be, whatever the result may be, it is what it is.

I am beginning to remind myself of this constantly because these are big questions that mean a lot to me.

The future will bring what it is supposed to bring.

When it comes, I will take it for what it is.

 

I wouldn’t say that I am ready for the future, but I know that the future is ready for me.

So now, I will step into the future with an open mind and open arms, ready to take what it gives me.

I will accept…

My future.

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“We must let go of the life that we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell