February 20th: Cold Day, Warm Thoughts.

Got some nice news today as I awoke: No school!

Gives me some time to reflect and look ahead to my many tests and papers (ugh).

It’s all good though, just trusting in the Lord to help me have a solid week mentally and putting in the work!

When I look at my life like I have recently, it’s sort of a mixed bag of feelings. I’m getting a lot of stuff done, but not feeling that positive about my near future.

I think that a lot of that has to do with my continuing state of my faith and my everyday motivations. I am not spending the amount of time that I would like to spend in terms of quiet time with God and I don’t feel that motivated to getting stuff done. I am doing it, but fairly reluctantly “because I have to”.

Does this mean that I am doing the wrong things in my life? Or doing things I don’t want to do?

I sometimes think that, but I realize what my decisions are leading to, and most of them in general will have positive outcomes. In almost everything we do, we will have a vision of what the end will be like. It seems as if every time, there is at least one step along the way that drags you down and you just don’t want to do. I am starting to embrace those steps because I know what they will eventually lead to and if I can get over this step, I can do it. The path will almost always be crooked, but the ending will eventually come.

I have to remain patient with certain things in my life. I have to realize that everything comes at a cost (whether it’s time, money, pain, etc.). I am ready to take on a challenge, although unwanted, because I know the ending will be that much better when it is completed.

“Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution… Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor’s crown.” – Revelation 2:10


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