The difficulty of shifting expectations.

A challenge I am facing is trying to shift my expectations.

This goes for myself, for other people, for my relationships, for my job, for really everything.

I have a constant yearning for improvement of self, for deep conversations and connection with other people, for every relationship to be rock solid and vulnerable, for my job to be sunshine and rainbows each day.

At the core, I want everyone and everything around me to feel the love, care, and respect that I have for them. Every day, I try to pour those feelings into others.

I also want to be able to pour into myself, seeing improvement in things that I can control each day.

However, I am beginning to recognize the truth that “your expectation is not their obligation”.

That is a truth that feels hurtful in this moment, but it is not the intention of anyone.

Just because I want every person to love me and want some sort of connection with me doesn’t mean they have to.

I may not be able to provide them what they need – and that’s okay.

I want to be able to care for and love every person as they need, but that’s not a reality that can happen.

I can try my best, and hopefully, people see and feel this, but it doesn’t mean I can give them what they need.

So, when analyzing those relationships in my life, there are people in my life who:

• Have philosophical conversations with me, digging into life’s emotional challenges – I am thankful for those.
• Provide laughter and light with their attitude – I am thankful for those.
• Have simple conversations, reminding me that life doesn’t always have to be heavy – I am thankful for those.
• Provide seriousness and lay down rules, helping us stay in the places we need to – I am thankful for those.

Everyone is doing their best and trying to show their love, care, and respect in the ways they know best.

And in knowing I am doing the same thing, I can find comfort in this.

My hope will always remain that each time I speak, act, think… those around me can see that I am trying my best to love, care for, and respect them.

I know that for some in my life, I am a voice of reason.

For some, I am a golf buddy.

For some, I am a comedic relief.

For some, I am a provider of business/operations.

For some, I am an educator.

For some, I am a therapist.

And each role, each individual relationship, those roles are what those people need.

I shouldn’t change who I am, and those around me shouldn’t change who they are either.

All we can do is love on others the way we know best.

If it is returned, in whatever role or capacity, that is great. If not, that is the choice of each person, as they maneuver what they need as well.

I want to ground myself in the truth that I am trying my best.

I am loving. I am caring. I am working hard to be better.

And amidst that truth, my hope is that everyone around me can feel that, in whatever way I can be there for them.

NS

“I believe a few words can change your day and your life.”