Tired.

“Thought it’d be over by now
Thought you would leave
Thought I would come to my senses
Wish I was stronger somehow
Wish it was easy
Somewhere, I lost all my senses
I wish I knew what the end is.” – Older // Lizzy McAlpine

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There is nothing brighter than the light at the end of the tunnel.

Throughout times of trial, struggle, pain… we cling to the light we can see in the distance.

We know we will get there soon.

However, sometimes, “soon” can’t come soon enough.

The longer we are clawing through the darkness of the time at hand, the light seems like it never gets closer.

For me, I am reaching each day for that light with intention – taking action in the ways I know are best for me.

Physically – taking lots of walks, getting rest, eating well, and drinking plenty of water.

Mentally – trying to ground myself in what is true, focusing on what I have versus what I might lack.

Socially – tapping into my “branches”, each part of my tree of support. I need that love and support every single day.

Spiritually – Praying to the Lord, resting in His presence.

Emotionally – Taking time to cry, to vent, to soothe.

I take a step back to review these things and see how hard I am working to dig out of the hole.

So… where do I currently sit?

In the hole.

But… why am I not out if I have been doing “the right things”?

It’s very easy to get discouraged when you are in this space.

However, as I have reiterated the past two months as I’ve found myself in this place, I never feel like I will lose this battle.

I am at the point now where I am simply tired.

Across all facets, a mind that is constantly at work, the heightened emotions, and physical tension.

I am worn out.

But my eyes are open to the light – we can always cling to the light if we keep our eyes open.

And many days, that is a choice.

We have the choice of whether we are going to try.

We have the choice of whether we want to have hope.

We have the choice of whether we care about our day.

Each day, I care. I care about my work, I care about my health, I care about my branches, I care about my growth.

It’s okay to be tired – that means you’ve been working hard… trying your best.

So tonight, I will rest.

And tomorrow, I will rise with open eyes, working towards the light for another day.

And one of these days, my eyes will open to my feet being in the same place as where I have been seeking.

And what a place that will be.

NS

“I believe a few words can change your day and your life.”